These are gifts from my mother, learned over the years, but especially poignant as the one place she lives the most fully is in the “now.” She cannot remember the past. Fill your head with good loving thoughts, now. But I will say that my beautiful mother has managed to teach me, even through the destruction of her capabilities and creativity, that there is such a thing as indestructible spirit. This is not a disease where one can “make lemonade from lemons” there is nothing good about Alzheimer’s, and I resist even a nod toward accepting its ravages. So these memories are mine, of my adventures with my mother. As one of five children, I am grateful to have shared so many wonderful childhood experiences with my siblings, but I know these don’t necessarily translate into duplicate memories. Memories are affected by emotion and perspective. Science says our memories change each time they are recalled, and that no two people’s memories are the same, even if they are recalling the same event.
#Marcia gay harden 2017 update#
I will never stop yearning for her to wake up and simply need an update on the last 20 years, rather than an update on her entire life. In fact, she has participated fully in the growth of her children, the death of her husband, the births of her grandchildren, and all of the miraculous moments that life has gifted her, but she also has no memory of the passage of time. Unlike Rip Van Winkle, however, my mother hasn’t slept through life’s momentous events. She has played with my kids, canoed on the lake, planted in the garden, and slumbered on the hammock. My mother too has spent many wonderful days in the Catskill Mountains while visiting my family on our lake in upstate New York. Beautifully written, yes, but what an unbearable loss it seemed. I read that story as a kid, and hated it. He has slept through the death of his wife, and the growth of his daughter, life has transformed around him, yet he has no memory of the passing of time. Washington Irving, the author of the beautiful quote above, also wrote the wonderful short story “Rip Van Winkle,” about a man who goes to sleep in the Catskill Mountains for several decades, and when he wakes up, the world around him has drastically changed.
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Marcia Gay Harden with her mother, Beverly, in 1991.Ī mother is the truest friend we have, when trials heavyĪnd sudden fall upon us when adversity takes the placeĭesert us when trouble thickens around us, still will she cling to us, and endeavor by her kind precepts and counsels toĭissipate the clouds of darkness, and cause peace to return